It occurs to me late this afternoon, while doing a Jazzercise class, that my "inner Cinderella" has broken free of her imprisonment. My energy on every level skyrockets! I work out at my best level.
I recall that it begins last evening when I attend a monthly business association meeting. I am feeling very energetic. Filled with well-being, I network like a pro and enjoy meeting new people. I continue with friends in the hotel bar after the meeting. I don't remember the last time I feel this kind of energy.
My enthusiasm continues today at work. I face all the same problems and issues present yesterday, but today I do so with levity and fun. I have patience with myself. I have patience with the people on the other end of the phone line. I have patience with traffic. I feel like the best of myself. More compassionate, less interested in being judgmental.
What a switch. For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling tired, jaded, resistant. I felt uninspired to write a simple blog post. I felt like a drudge, like Cinderella working with no reprieve in sight. But instead of sweeping floors like Cinderella, I was feeling suffocated by unexamined, absurd expectations of myself. Such as, "I can't relax until I'm a financial success like the gurus I listen to." or "I have to figure out the magic bullet." Pressure, pressure, pressure.
By the time Saturday arrives, a touch of food poisoning grounds me and forces me to rest. I'm still in my pj's at 2:00 p.m. and I don't get any chores done, nor do I "accomplish" anything. I sit on the couch and read fiction. I play a subdued game of bridge with friends that evening.
Being "benched" gives me the opportunity to do some reflection and meditation. I find myself hanging onto Dick Richard's words about taking ourselves less seriously,in his response to a comment at his post, Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!. He recommends laughter and silliness to offset the seriousness in life, and in particular in the field of self development.
I'm not sure quite how I make the leap from tired and resistant to energetic and positive. And really it doesn't matter. But I do think Dick's words influenced me. What I do understand is that somewhere along the line I decided I can feel good without external situations changing.
And the wise Cinderella within who broke free knows that I can go far if I do these two things at this time in my life: follow my energy (rest when I'm tired; go in the direction that feels good, as opposed to resistant); and build in a couple of brief times per day to be still and get in the space of "allowing" myself to be. Practicing these two things can "grease" my receptivity for guidance and direction around business goals without anxious exertion on my part to find the answers.
I guess I don't need Prince Charming after all.
Ah...I'm so pleased that my words made a difference for you. I feel a new post coming on...about how we get trapped in certain feelings and need to create some distance from them, and how looking at ourselves from a distance can provoke laughter, and about developing the ability to see from a distance how downright silly we can be.
"I'm not sure quite how I make the leap from tired and resistant to energetic and positive." I think you just decided.
Posted by: Dick Richards | March 18, 2009 at 05:21 PM
Hey Deb,
No matter what the topic, I ~always~ know that your words are the real deal of yourself.
What I mean is that you share your personal journey in the most authentic way.
The tags you chose really do sum it all up:
Energy Alignment -- Finding Balance -- Personal Development
We certainly can pressurize ourselves with expectations. One of my favorite quotes is....
'There are blessings in problems'. That touch of food poisoning was a problem and
you nailed it when you said it grounded you.
Grounding always centers us to balance.
XO XO
Deb Estep
Posted by: Deb Estep | March 19, 2009 at 07:39 AM
Dick - looking forward to your upcoming post - reinforcement is important!
Deb - Thanks for your acknoledgment and support, and for reflecting back to me how I derived blessings from "problems." Hugs all around.
Posted by: Deb Call | March 19, 2009 at 07:51 AM