Love Notes from the Past

My sister reaches for the last box in the closet.  One last box to go through as we go through all of Dad's papers as part of settling his estate.  The last box at the end of a long day of looking at hundreds and hundreds of papers.

Taking the lid off the box, we discover a packet of handwritten letters.  The postmarked letters date from late 1947 to mid 1949 - love letters Dad sent to my mother while he was in college.  We let out a gasp of wonder at their existence.

We carry the letters back to my sister's home.  That evening, stretched out on the couch, with a glass of red wine and dark chocolate within easy reach, we read each of the 22 letters. 

The postage, by the way, was 3 cents back then.  And it wasn't until the second reading of the letters that I noticed that Dad put the stamp on each letter upside down, which is what my boyfriend (and later husband) did with the love letters he sent me in 1973 with an 8 cent stamp!  Rumor has it that a stamp placed upside down indicates love and romance.

In Dad's letters we learn of the silly, the mundane, and the interesting aspects of life in the late 1940's:  the live crabs Dad put in his roommate's bed as a prank; the pinochle games that went on until 3:00 a.m.; the music he listened to; the friends he and Mom doubled with; his negotiation with his Spanish professor for a better grade; his first bylines in the school newspaper; the boring jobs he holds to make ends meet as a student.

We also learn of the romantic and earnest side of Dad.  By letter # 8, Dad tells Mom he loves her . . . that she is the one he has been looking for all his life.  As you might imagine, I shed a few tears here.  Later letters reveal that Dad thinks he can do anything, be anything with Mom at his side.  He counts down the days, hours, and minutes til his wedding day, imagining Mom walking up the aisle to him.

What an extraordinary experience to read Dad's words - to be let in so intimately into his life at age 21-22, before he became a husband and father.  I am struck by how alive he becomes for me - his enthusiasm, his optimism, his joi de vivre, his sense of humor, and most of all, his unabashed love for my mother.  

These letters are part of a past era . . . an era characterized by "The Greatest Generation," as Tom Brokaw writes about them.  Dad served 2 years overseas during WWII.  Postwar, he attended college on the GI bill.  He had no money, and begged and borrowed rides to travel an hour each way each weekend to see Mom.  Their primary source of entertainment included playing cards, and dancing.  The qualities of innocence, romanticism, and optimism marked their lives at the time.  Surely it couldn't hurt our cynical world to return to a more gentle style of courting.

Reading these letters has been bittersweet.  They create a fresh wound of grief and sadness at not having Mom and Dad in my life.  And they make me feel so utterly grateful for being given a rare glimpse into Dad's heart and soul.  I will hold and cherish the memories Dad's words have created for me.  And I will share the letters with my daughters so that they will not settle for anything less than the grand love exemplified by their grandparents.

All of this has gotten me to thinking . . . what do you want to leave behind for your loved ones to discover?

Comments

[Barbara Sliter]

Wow what a gift to have such letters... to get a glimpse of how they were before the roles and responsibilities of parenthood.

It has made me think because my husband and I, in pursuit of living in the present, have discarded much of what is "history," including letters, photos etc. Have we cheated the next generation? or released them to carry only what they know in their hearts? I'll never know.

[Deb Call]

Great question you pose, Barb, about discarding the "history" and wondering if you have cheated future generations. I think you have the basis for a blog post of your own to explore this! What do you think?

[Barbara Sliter]

I think I'll let the question rattle around in me for a while.

Love to you...

[Dan]

What a lovely post, Deb, and what a find, these letters, in their capacity to make your parents live in memory in a newly intimate way. Thank you for sharing the story and your discoveries, and for your desire to pass along a vision of what love can be so your daughters don't settle for anything less. Beautiful!

[kelly wyman]

You are amazng and a beautiful writer. Isn't it interesting, I never condsidered my parent as lovers and you know that they were!

I remember both your Mother and Father- Your Mother was so stunning and Dad was quite handsome- Didn't you live on Pole Lane Road.

I have such found memories of the 40th and look forward to future reunion.

George and I are in Jacksonville, Fl at the Shand's Proton Center for the next 2 months..when we leave his prostate cancer will be cured.

Love to all

Kelly

[Deb Call]

Kelly - thanks for your compliments all around - we both had parents who were very good looking! We never lived on Pole Lane Rd, but Peterson. Eventually made it out to Yorkshire Estates just before our senior year.

On another note, sending you and George prayers and best wishes for complete healing.

Love back at ya,
Deb

[Bev Shapter]

I just read your note Deb. It reminded me of the letters we found that my father sent my mother during WWII. My parents are both gone now, but to read the letters that were written with such tenderness and humor was amazing. Her first fiance had been killed at Pearl Harbor, and my dad was just a friend who shopped at thestore where my Mom worked. They went to dancing classes, and my dad's story of learning the jitterbug was so funny.You don't think of your parents as being in love. I wonder what my kids will remember of me and my husband!
Bev Elliott Shapter

[Deb Call]

Bev, what a beautiful legacy your parents left behind . . .the window to their youth and young love. You raise an interesting point about what your kids will remember about you and your husband . . . what do we want our kids to remember? Or discover after we die?