Forgive me, Dick Richards, I've been meaning to compose this since reading your provocative post, ASK, early this month. But I've found myself busy asking for, and dealing with, all that is coming my way!
Readers - at some point click over to read the true account of what happened when a workshop participant asked for something specific and audacious!
Coincidentally, two days before I read Dick's post on asking, I was sitting in a business networking meeting with other real estate investors. I mentioned a current property that I would like to rehab if I can get the private money. After the meeting, 2 investors separately approached me with the desire to park some private funds with this project. I was astounded! It was the first time I have initiated a conversation seeking private lenders.
Following upon the hills of this example, and then reading Dick's post, I realized that I don't ask for what I want nearly enough. I suspect most of us don't. It's a waste of time to ferret out the reasons why we don't. Instead I decided to ask again.
This time I asked for something specific and important to me in my personal life. And it wasn't easy. I was experiencing a blue moment anticipating my first Thanksgiving since my father died. I emailed my sister to once again ask her to travel to South Carolina from Ohio for the holiday. In my message I removed the "strong, older sister persona" and shared with transparency from my heart. I ended by letting my sister know I would accept whatever she felt in her heart was right for her.
In the outcome, relayed in a phone call, my sister is unable to honor my request due to her own grief. I knew it was a long shot. Surprisingly, I don't feel let down. I feel empowered because I acknowledged my own feelings and communicated them. With that comes an increased sense of confidence.
Here's what I am learning about asking:
- Ask with clarity and assurance.
- Ask, knowing that the more frequently you do it, the greater likelihood some of your requests will be granted.
- Ask because someone has a reciprocal need to fulfill your request and can't do it until asked.
- Ask with respect to yourself and the other party.
Now it's time to ask you to do something - ASK! Ask for something here in a comment. Or share an example of asking. Go ahead. Just do it! I dare you!
That's beautiful Deb. Thanks for extending my post by adding some specific suggestions and the effect of asking even when the answer is no.
Posted by: Dick Richards | November 29, 2009 at 11:04 AM