Reaching Beyond Death

It's been a little over a year since the death of my second parent.  I find that the absence of my parents is a life-changing event that I am still adjusting to.  Most days I think of them, still with longing, but without the intense grief.

Yet from time to time, their absence hits me hard and lays me low for a day or two.  This past weekend is one of those times.  I ache with longing to see Mom and Dad, to talk with them.  Sadness envelopes me and I feel lost.  Our family structure has shifted.  My sibs and I have moved into the "elder" generation position.  It doesn't feel right somehow to have no generation ahead of me.

We are still attempting to regain our footing with the holidays - to create new traditions that compensate for the absence of Mom and Dad.   We will be challenged later this month when my niece gets married - the first grandchild - and no grandparents will be present.  My father was a great dancer, and we will have to pick up the slack for sure!

In my longing for my parents, I decide to write to them.  I share what I am feeling.  Near the end I throw out a plea to see them, just for a moment, to  help me keep on going.  I know in my adult mind that that is a "silly" plea, but my heart will not be silenced.

That evening I go to sleep and dream.  In my dream, my youngest brother and I are standing outside on some undetermined street corner.  As I look up, I see my father approach us.  He looks about 10 years younger than when he died.  Dad looks vibrant and alive!  He approaches us.  I eagerly point Dad out to my brother.  My brother and Dad are able to touch, fingerpoint to fingerpoint, just like ET.  I am within a couple of yards of Dad before he disappears.  Even tho we weren't able to touch, I feel ecstatic that I have seen Dad.

I wake up in the morning and feel a sense of happiness and deep well-being.  The feeling stays with me all day.  I am incredulous that Dad found some way to connect with me, and to reassure me, in similar fashion as my mother did to me in the dream where she met me last December.

Although death feels like an end, I am beginning to grasp that there is a world beyond imagining on the other side.  And that connections to loved ones cannot be severed, even by death.

Comments

[Connie B.]

Beautiful article. Sometimes we get messages in the strangest but comforting ways...Keep writing...

[Deb Call]

Thanks, Connie. This experience teaches me to suspend judgment about how loved ones who have passed on can communicate with us. The dream, whether one calls it "after death communication" or not, brought great comfort to me.

[Deb Estep]

Dear Deb,

I loved reading of your dream.
I believe 100% in their ability to come to us.
Thank goodness you have peace that you were not able to
see yourself connecting in finger tips with your Dad.
The visual of him well had to be so awesome. !!!

The day you wrote this was 11 months ago that my Dad passed.
On Oct 6th, I had the most awful day of missing my Mom. The 6th
was 6 months and 16 days since her death. I was having some children type
issues. Mom would have listened to me. No judgments, just listened. :)
As I was sitting at my computer with my Facebook page open, I was crying like
I had not done since her death. I glanced to the side of the page and there
was a photo I had posted of an angel. NOT just any angel, one sent to me after
Mom's death, by a dear friend who lost her son Lance in Iraq.
On the front of the angel are the words....

Angels are always near to those who grieve....

I was SO comforted. I wrote a Facebook note about it. I most likly
would not even have shared the bad moment, if it were not for seeing that
angel photo. IT was a nudge from Mom.

Here is the full story of the angel from my blog, it's AMAZING.

http://tinyurl.com/Angel-Mel

XO XO
Deb

[Deb Call]

Deb, I am so glad to hear that you found comfort in ways that you did not expect while you were feeling your loss. Angels come in many forms!