Spirit In Gear

Out of Balance? Remember to Connect Within

Like the doctor who smokes and doesn't follow his own advice, I find myself in a similar waters.  I wonder why I feel out of balance, experiencing resistance instead of well-being.  I've gotten into the habit of relying solely on my head and logic to run my life.  Soldiering on, I forget to connect within, pausing to hear the wisdom from my Higher Self.

This morning I take the time to listen.  I can take in the messages, the reminders of what I know and forget.  I find myself feeling better, lighter.  I print out the message and vow to read it at the start of my days to come.

Connecting within is as easy as slowly inhaling and exhaling.  I find the slow breathing loosens my connection to my head.  As I continue breathing, feelings rise up as my heart comes forward.

I do my connecting via writing.  I select a quiet private place.  I play evocative music in the background.  I may light a candle and say a brief prayer.  I like to write using my laptop because I can type faster than write.  I typically will pose a question, and as a response begins to emerge, I type, with my eyes closed.  I keep my eyes closed simply to keep the flow going.  I usually type fast, and make typos.  If I had my eyes open I would want to fix the typos immediately, instead of waiting til I'm done writing.

This response to my sense of restlessness and loss over the death of my parents came through earlier this summer.  The wisdom remains as relevant today as several months ago:

We tell you to be still, to breathe deeply.  You long to know with your head.  But first you must know with your heart.  It's a similar struggle that your brother is going through.  Be still.  Practice listening for your heart voice.  Bring yourself back to this moment, over and over again.  Be okay with feeling what you feel in this moment.  Be okay with what is.  You use up a lot of energy resisting what is.  And trying to use logic and force to create impact in your life, rather than allowing, and understanding that life unfolds - much easier than using resistance to fight or to force.  Again we say to you to practice staying in the moment, for a moment.  You do realize that it was your heart that guided you to Hendersonville that day, to that bookstore, to that very book that you need in order to be in the moment.  Please do not sweat this.  You keep forgetting that you are loved and cherished.  You feel that lacking, because your mother and father, the first source of your earthly love, have passed on from  this physical plane.  If only you knew how your loved ones hover and love you from above, you would bask in that warmth and feel the soothing coming your way.

We say this lovingly to you - do not stop feeling what is coming tthrough - do not stop the feeling, even when it's sad or painful.  The more deeply you can feel what is painful, the more deeply you can feel the joy and the love.

As I mentioned above, I type with my eyes closed.  I have no idea how that last paragraph got underlined.  Apparently I hit something on my laptop. But it's obvious that my Higher Self felt that those particular words needed extra emphasis!

Making Room to Hear Wisdom

Sometimes I think of the connection to spirit as being like a phone line.  The connection is always open:  It's our half of the relationship to stay available for incoming calls . . . the problem is not in the sending, but in the receiving.

- Christina Baldwin, The Seven Whispers

Wisdom waits for me, stuck behind the doors of my continuous distraction, and cluttered mind.  Gradually, and almost outside of my awareness, my spiritual practices have become superficial and arid.  I spend the bulk of my awake time in my mind.  Good things still happen in my life, but the sense of joy is diminished by mental tedium. 

You can imagine, then, how grateful I feel for Spirit's guidance last week in the bookstore, when I found and purchased a copy of The Seven Whispers.  I'll address the first whisper in this post, "Maintain Peace
of Mind."

It's hard for me to feel peaceful when the characters within my mind harp at me incessantly- the critic, the doubter, the scaredy cat, the champion, and the little kid, among many voices I hear.  Author Christina Baldwin describes in the book how she shifts her sense of self.  She does this most often by shifting to her inner observer, who can act as mediator among the many voices to see which one can serve her best.

When we can do that, Baldwin says we can shift our emotional state, our thought processes, and our assumptions.  This allows other internal characters to emerge - integrated child, integrated self-parent, observer mind etc.  This helps me to remember that I am more than the totality of voices in my head.  When I recognize who's talking, I can choose to turn the volume up or down, whatever it takes to restore a sense of calm.

Here's an easy-to-remember practice that Baldwin describes to create peace of mind.  She advises starting out your day first thing in the morning with this:

Practice conscious breathing (slow, long breaths through the belly) that can be done anywhere.  Take 3 breaths (Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching):

1) One breath to LET GO 
In my case, I let go of constant list making; of racing into the future with "what ifs;" of focus on inadequacies rather than strengths.  Deep breathing replaces the adrenaline with oxygen.  Yesterday I felt besieged with volumes of "to do's."  After this exercise, I took a legal yellow pad, drew nine sections on it with a ruler, and placed my "to do's" in the boxes.  For example, one section held my list for a house we just put up for sale; another my list for a current marketing campaign; another for personal  financial items etc.  Having everything down and laid out in an organized manner de-cluttered my mind and brought a sense of relief.

2) One breath to BE HERE
I bring myself back to the present and "be" in the world through my five senses.  What do I notice through my eyes, hear through my ears, smell through my nose, feel with my skin, and taste with my tongue?  I discover that when I do this, I ground myself into the here and now.  I find my way back into my body, and out of my head.  It gives me a chance to interrupt unhelpful mental thoughts.  It allows me to pay attention of what is in front of me.

3) One breath to ask NOW WHAT?
Baldwin asks:  "Now what might Spirit say, if I say nothing more and just for a moment, listen?"  What I like about asking this question is that it invites Spirit (God, Higher Self etc) into my life.  I get the sense that I'm partnering with Spirit in my life and that I'm not alone.  The answer to my question may come later in the day, or week, or at some future time.  And sometimes Spirit will answer a question I haven't even asked, as when I was guided to buy the above named book.

I've been at this 3 breath practice for a few days now, during an unusually hectic work week.  For example, I left home at 7 am Wednesday, and didn't return home til after 7:00 p.m.  Friday I spent several hours looking at properties to buy, and then spent several hours in my office til 6:00 p.m., not my typical Friday schedule!

I intend to keep practicing the deep breathing, and to ask the questions, in order to make it a natural part of my day.  I'm still a "peace of mind rookie," but I find that knowing about these 3 breaths/questions pulls me back from mental racing by increasing my awareness. 

There is so much I cannot control in my life, even though I expend a lot energy trying to do that.  What I do have control over is breathing deeply to cultivate peace of mind.  Then I can make room for Wisdom to help me. 

I like the notion that God/Spirit not only resides above us (Western tradition), but that God/Spirit resides within us, in our heart (Eastern tradition), as Baldwin describes in the book.  As I/we connect with the Divinity  within us, we experience a richness in life beyond the material.

There are any number of ways to invite peace of mind.  What way have you found that works for you? 

[Photo Credit:  Gokhan Okur]

  

Thirty Six Years and Rolling

Last night, on the eve of our 36th wedding anniversary, I sit at the kitchen table eating dinner with my husband and learn that I don't know everything about him.  And isn't that what we want - to have some mystery in long standing relationships?

During our conversation he shared a thought, which will remain private here, that I had not heard before.  After all these years, I express wonder that he hasn't mentioned this before.

It just goes to illustrate that we can never completely know everything about a person, no matter how many years we have been with him or her.

Speaking of years, I look back on the young woman I was of 21 years who decided to marry this fellow after dating him for 6 weeks.  I felt a bit scared at how sure I was of him.  It didn't feel logical.  It felt right.  I struggled (briefly) with trusting myself.  But when well being floods all your cells, you go with it!

As years fly by, I know  some things don't change.  Michael is the guy I want by my side.  He still makes me laugh, and fills me with love.  He and I are lucky to be together.  Yet we have worked on staying together too.  Nothing is maintenance free!

While the rest of you celebrate Ground Hogs Day, I raise a toast to my Sweetie and look forward to many more days and years ahead with you, MRC!

 

Flash Bites

For the past week I've been receiving intuitive flashes.  They come through as an insight, an inner knowing, a glimmer, a picture, or a physical sensation on personal and business issues in my life.

Like sound bites, they're brief and get my attention.  It occurs to me this morning, as I lay in bed, that these are "flash bites."  They grab me and shift me from smallness to expansion, all in the space of seconds!

For example, yesterday afternoon we are watching the movie, Henry Poole is Here.  The central character struggles with a loss of faith.  He depends solely on what he knows logically.  He is challenged by neighbors whose faith and beliefs summon  "miracles." 

Near the end of the movie my flash bite comes.  In my need to make the lives of my husband and two daughters "better," I am shown a different way of being.  I am released from needing to control outcomes.  I can let go.  With my husband, my job is not to help him become more "spiritual" but to grow in my own faith.  My job is not to fuss over my 26 yr old daughter in her present state of unsettledness, but to love her.  She is much wiser than I was at that age, and will choose well.  My job is not to obsess over my 23 yr. old daughter finding a job in Chicago when she moves there this summer (by the way . . . anyone need a talented graphic designer?).  She's perfectly capable finding work, if past performance is any indicator.

As I read over the flash bite above, it sounds rational.  But it did not come through that way.  I felt lightened and free when I received this intuitive flash.  I felt like a different part of me (yes, I'll call her the Divine One) was reassuring me that my job was done.  I can relax.  I can love.  Translated . . . I can give up worry.

You cannot worry about someone and love them at the same time. Most people mistake the emotion of worry for the emotion of love. They think that worrying about somebody means that you love them.
- Abraham

In hindsight, I look back and see the pivotal flash bite that arrived last weekend, setting off this series of flash bites the past few days.  It all starts with a visit to downtown Asheville, a 75 minute drive from our South Carolina home.  We have made it a tradition on all of our trips to Asheville to make our last stop at Malaprops Bookstore.  Street musicians play outside the doors.  Stepping into the doors of this independent bookseller, I feel immediate pleasure.  For book lovers like me it's an orgy of delight.  Because it's not a chain store, even the coffee aromas smell more intoxicating.  Walking on old floor boards that creak, I scan the colorful book displays and creative organization that draw me further in.  I wander over to a shelf entitled "Banned Books" - all  those books we are so familiar with that have been banned at one time or another, including Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.  I feel myself losing sense of time.  I acquaint myself with new authors, and check in with familiar ones.  

Over and over again, I find myself drawn to another area with a book entitled Life is a Verb by Patti Digh.  The subtitle - "37 Days to Wake Up , Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally."  Why does the author's name sound so familiar?  I soon realize that she is a blogger that I have read sometime in the past.  Holding her book is a tactile pleasure in itself.  The book feels so smooth and silky!  Colors pop throughout the multitude of unique illustrations.  As her blog proclaims, her book is not a self-help book, but a soul-help book.  Without hesitation I buy the book.

After our friends head back to Ohio, I nestle my derriere on the couch to soak myself in this book for awhile.  My flash bite shows up during a writing exercise.  I become aware that I've put myself in a pissy funk by comparing myself to others who are better writers, better bloggers, know more than me, ad nauseum.  I'm filled with a sense of mean smallness towards myself.

Simultaneously something else comes through - call it soul help.  I feel a physical sense of warmth come from my heart.  I feel my heart expand and open as I sense a loving, compassionate presence.  I flip from holding myself with disdain to a sense of deep love and gratitude for being me.  I do feel a regret for the wasted time, but make a contract with myself to do something loving or compassionate for myself each day. 

The following morning, I decide to stop multi-tasking at breakfast.  I don't check email while eating and watching Good Morning America before rushing off to Jazzercise.  I give myself the gift of being present.  The rest of the day unfolds without the typical sense of urgency and pressure that I inflict upon myself.

And so it goes . . . as I learn to be more present, flash bites find a receptive state as I move through my week.  What I wish I had done, and will do from now on, is jot down my flash bites as they come through.  I hope to capture as much of the essence of the message, and the feeling as possible.  Later, when I fall back, I can turn to my written flash bite and "remember" again.

Forgive this rambling story.  I tell it to myself to understand how the Universe supports me, tracing my steps back to Malaprops, and taking note of the numerous flash bites that have come through since then just this week.  Take heart, Deb, you are never alone.  And neither are you!

Photo Credits:  Light in sky - Dimitar Tzankov; Malaprops Bookstore - Malaprops website

Enough

I am enough.  I have wisdom enough.  I have faith enough.  I know enough.  I do not need to strive or strain. I do not need to reach or worry. I am enough.

- Julia Cameron, Heart Steps - Prayers and Declarations for a Creative Life

These words reach me this morning like a lifeline thrown to one struggling in rushing waters.  Instead of rushing waters, I find myself caught in the grips of torrential mental noise:  I need to market more.  I need to create more pay per click ads.  I need to read through all the material from my online marketing training.  I need to do each and every exercise.  I am not doing enough.  I need to make money.  More money!  I need to do it now.  Urgent, urgent, urgent!

"I am enough."  These words stop me.  The mental churning fades out.  I exhale.  I feel emotion rising up from my heart and escaping through the tears in my eyes.  I sense another part of me coming forward.  She comes not from ego, but from that part connected to the Divine.  She is calm, patient, wise,  She trusts.  She takes her time.  I sense her compassion and love.

I sit still.  I notice the relief I feel.  I watch my churning thoughts shift into positive scenarios.  I imagine what my life could look like as I embrace knowing I am enough.  I can see my grown daughters as enough, trusting them to make mistakes and surviving just fine.  I can use the knowing that I am enough to take my time and plan my marketing steps for my business.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed I can feel focused.  I can feel lighter because I make this marketing manageable.

My imagination continues to prance ahead.  As I quiet the demanding inner pressure, I can be more present to others, more positive, more caring.  Better self care leads to better care of others.  Not necessarily doing more.  Just showing up in a different way.

I start first with myself.  I resolve to lengthen my quiet time early in the morning.  To spend the first minutes of the new day in stillness, prayer, and reflection.  To ensure that the person who gets out of bed knows she is enough, and knows that her "spirit is large enough for any circumstance."

Who are you when you remember you are enough?

[Photo Credit:  Arjun Kartha]

What I Know For Sure

If someone asked you the question:  "What do you know for sure?", how would you respond?

I find myself answering this question last night at the instigation of O Magazine, where Oprah answers this question as a monthly feature found on the last page of each issue.

What I know for sure . . . is that I know far more than I ever give myself credit for, and that's a damn shame. 

When I awaken this morning, before getting out of bed, I feel emotion surfacing.  I reflect on my answer to the above question and sense sadness.  I understand at a heart level that when I don't acknowledge what I know, I diminish myself.  Like the dimmer set low on our dining room chandelier, I fade out.  The whole point about being in this world is about allowing my light to emanate out.  To  connect to other lights, and to lead the way for those looking for the light.

What I know for sure is that when I still myself, even for a few seconds, I am graced with  understanding what I know.  Perhaps I need to still myself longer to remember what I know.

I leave you with the question at the beginning of this post:  "What do you know for sure?"  Please feel free to share your answer here!

 

Redesigning My "Inner Space" aka Blog Hiatus

A few weeks ago we emptied out one of our spare bedrooms.  It had housed a twin bed, a desk/chair, bookcases, and knick-knacks from a daughter who had since graduated from college and moved away several years ago.  We gave away some of the furniture and boxed up the books and knick-knacks for safe-keeping until our daughter has room to take them off of our hands.

I looked at the empty room.  All this open space lay before me, full of possibilities.  I knew one thing for certain.  I would replace the twin bed with a Queen bed (when kids grow up it's not terribly comfortable to sleep in the twin bed anymore!) 

Something interesting and delightful happens after the bed is delivered and set up.  I look at the bedroom space in a different way.  I pull different pieces of furniture and accessories from other rooms in our home to create a cottage feel to the new guest bedroom. 

Taking My Cues From Mickey

A couple of weeks ago we returned from a business-related trip to Orlando.  We added a few days prior to the business event to head out to Disney.  Amidst the crowd, the heat, and the infamous Floridian humidity, we enjoyed our favorite thrill rides, and a bit of the signature trademark magic unique to the Disney parks.

On my last night there, I browsed through a store of Disney merchandise located on the Boardwalk.  Besides purchasing a cool v-neck T-shirt in my favorite shade of pink, I found an irresistible little Mickey with his sorcerer hat perched on his head.  This is the same Mickey found at the Hollywood Studios Park in a giant sculpture.

I scooped up Mickey.  I just knew I needed to take him home with me.  He sits on my desk.  He smiles and reminds me that I can create the magic in my life. And it all starts with remembering that my own inner wizard waits within.  She's only a silent moment away.  She was the one, after all, who told me to buy Mickey in the first place. 

Parts of Myself I've Been Neglecting

What Parts of Myself Have I been Ignoring, Neglecting, or Denying?

This question clutches at me when I read it over in the list mentioned in my last post on eliciting heart wisdom.  Credit for the question goes to author Barbara DeAngelis.

Reading the question stirs up an ache within me.  I can feel the answer surface immediately.  It comes through as a strong yearning to spend more time in creating.  I feel cranky and out of sorts from dealing with so much left-brained minutia - constant details that have me scattering myself personally and professionally. 

As I review January, I realize it was an intense month for me.  My mother passed from this life early in that month.  I have spent a lot of time in both processing my grief, and in playing catch up in all parts of my life that were put on hold during the last week of Dec. and the first week of January. 

As life resumes a semblance of normalcy and well-being, I experience my thunderbolt.  It's time for me to build in the structure, through outside assistance, to give myself the space and time to create.  I need help in lifting some of the linear load off my shoulders so I can get to the creative/expressive/juicier stuff.

How committed am I to making the shift in my personal life ?  In my business?  My business partner and I just made the decision to get an outside office (lease in hand), and to take steps to legalize our partnership.  That is only the beginning.  We need to bring in another person to handle our minutia.  Only then will we have the time freed up to take our business to the next level.  It's a big change, a stretch for us, one that requires additional financial resources.

Likewise, in my personal life I need to hire a cleaning person to care for our home on a regular basis.  I had one for years when we lived in Ohio.  Since our move to South Carolina, I haven't used one.  And our house is much bigger here.  I spend so much time on weekends worrying about getting it cleaned, or worrying that I haven't cleaned it, that I feel stressed.  A cleaning person is a form of nurturing for me.  Take that cleaning load off of me and I know my creative output will skyrocket.

The beauty of the question within a question (discussed in my last post) lies in the depth at which the information comes back to me.  It starts in my heart, and then goes to my head.  I feel the change I need to make, and feel ready to do it.  Someone could have come in months ago and told me to get a cleaning person.  It's logical.  But I'm discovering that shifts rarely happen in the head. 

Before I wrote this post, I sent off an email to a discussion forum in our subdivision, asking for names of housecleaners.  I'm ready, Universe, send me the housecleaner best for me.  And you might want to throw in additional financial resources too!

What part of yourself have you been ignoring or neglecting?

How to Elicit Heart Wisdom - Use These Questions Within Questions

When we want to tap into the wisdom of our heart for guidance, we must learn to ask the right questions.  Barbara DeAngelis, author of How Did I Get Here? calls this process contemplating the "questions within questions."

Linear questions such as "What is my new list of goals?" or "What action steps should I take?" keep us limited to what logic/intellect dictates before we may be fully informed.  The following "questions within questions" bypass the mind, according to DeAngelis, to help us "feel the answers" rather than "think about the answers."  I've included a few from her book, How Did I Get Here?:

Am I living as the person I want to be?

What authentic parts of myself have I been hiding from people who know me?

Do my everyday activities and interactions bring me joy?

What parts of myself have I been ignoring, neglecting, or denying?

If I weren't worried about what other people might think or how they might react, what changes or decisions would I make in my life?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's a process I'd suggest for using these questions, based on my own experience:

- Work with one question at a time. 
- Find a way to quiet yourself, in a private space. 
- Take in some deep slow breaths to relax you, bringing you into the here and now. 
- Ask yourself the question you want to focus on first. 
- Notice what comes up first.  A feeling may come through - follow it to see where it wants to take you.  - Allow the feelings, sensations, words, and "knowing" to come forward.  Jot these down.

Barbara DeAngelis notes that you can also address one of these questions in a meditation, or discuss with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist.

In my next post, I'll share what I learned in response to the question, "What parts of myself have I been ignoring, neglecting, or denying?"

Picture Credit - Tatiana