Spirit In Gear

Out of Balance? Remember to Connect Within

Like the doctor who smokes and doesn't follow his own advice, I find myself in a similar waters.  I wonder why I feel out of balance, experiencing resistance instead of well-being.  I've gotten into the habit of relying solely on my head and logic to run my life.  Soldiering on, I forget to connect within, pausing to hear the wisdom from my Higher Self.

This morning I take the time to listen.  I can take in the messages, the reminders of what I know and forget.  I find myself feeling better, lighter.  I print out the message and vow to read it at the start of my days to come.

Connecting within is as easy as slowly inhaling and exhaling.  I find the slow breathing loosens my connection to my head.  As I continue breathing, feelings rise up as my heart comes forward.

I do my connecting via writing.  I select a quiet private place.  I play evocative music in the background.  I may light a candle and say a brief prayer.  I like to write using my laptop because I can type faster than write.  I typically will pose a question, and as a response begins to emerge, I type, with my eyes closed.  I keep my eyes closed simply to keep the flow going.  I usually type fast, and make typos.  If I had my eyes open I would want to fix the typos immediately, instead of waiting til I'm done writing.

This response to my sense of restlessness and loss over the death of my parents came through earlier this summer.  The wisdom remains as relevant today as several months ago:

We tell you to be still, to breathe deeply.  You long to know with your head.  But first you must know with your heart.  It's a similar struggle that your brother is going through.  Be still.  Practice listening for your heart voice.  Bring yourself back to this moment, over and over again.  Be okay with feeling what you feel in this moment.  Be okay with what is.  You use up a lot of energy resisting what is.  And trying to use logic and force to create impact in your life, rather than allowing, and understanding that life unfolds - much easier than using resistance to fight or to force.  Again we say to you to practice staying in the moment, for a moment.  You do realize that it was your heart that guided you to Hendersonville that day, to that bookstore, to that very book that you need in order to be in the moment.  Please do not sweat this.  You keep forgetting that you are loved and cherished.  You feel that lacking, because your mother and father, the first source of your earthly love, have passed on from  this physical plane.  If only you knew how your loved ones hover and love you from above, you would bask in that warmth and feel the soothing coming your way.

We say this lovingly to you - do not stop feeling what is coming tthrough - do not stop the feeling, even when it's sad or painful.  The more deeply you can feel what is painful, the more deeply you can feel the joy and the love.

As I mentioned above, I type with my eyes closed.  I have no idea how that last paragraph got underlined.  Apparently I hit something on my laptop. But it's obvious that my Higher Self felt that those particular words needed extra emphasis!

Following Guidance Takes Courage

If following inner guidance was easy, we'd be doing it all the time, right?  But when it doesn't make sense to do so logically, we tend to second guess ourselves and struggle.

This morning I receive an email from a follower of my blog.  She relates a powerful story about acting upon inner guidance.  She recently took a new job in a field she has worked in for 19 years.  As soon as she begins her new job, she feels a sense of danger she can't shake.  And within a short time, she decides to quit. 

Meanwhile, the bills are due.  Her family thinks she is crazy.  She is living 12 hours from home on an air mattress.  She feels scared.  And she feels something else - "the peace at times is the
most real, purest peace I have ever known.  My inner most part of me, maybe that small still voice tells me everything will be alright."  Even when she doesn't have anything else lined up.

It may be that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. - Wendell Berry

This reminds me of an inner urging I felt in 2003.  My husband had just been named project manager for the largest job he'd ever do, which would span at least 2 years.  Our younger daughter was getting ready to enter her senior year in high school.  We had no desire to move from our home.  And yet, I felt compelled to get our home market ready for sale.

It didn't make sense at all.  But I trusted that urge enough that we created a punch list and checked off the items on the list over the next few months.  Shortly after that, my husband received word that the project was called off.  The client was in a financial downturn.  Within 3 more months, my husband's company decimated the engineering department.  He was offered a transfer out of state.  We both agreed the transfer would work.  Because our home was market ready,we sold our house in 1 day.

In between these decisions and actions lay a sense of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  And out of all that courage comes forward to prevail and lead the way.

When have you acted upon an inner urge when it didn't make sense?

Guidance on the Go

Higher Guidance doesn't always require a meditative space to show up in.  It can show up without our direct request for answers.  Or we may get our "guidance on the go" if we pay attention, stay present, and steer the pace of our hectic lives, as I addressed in a recent post, Moving at the Pace of Guidance.

For example, about three weeks ago I experienced a swift download of guidance "on the go."  The story begins when I receive a phone call from a real estate agent who wants to show a house we just rehabbed and put up for sale four days prior.  I give her the lock-box code and return to my meeting. 

The agent calls me back later that evening to tell me her client is making an offer and she will fax it to me.  There is something about her tone of voice and sense of urgency that makes me immediately resistant.  For some inexplicable reason, I don't have a good feeling about this.  (One of the primary ways guidance comes through for me is an energy I feel in my body).

The offer arrives and proves to be a low-ball offer.  I craft a counter-offer designed to make them go away.  Or so I think.  They respond to my counter-offer with our asking price.  I sigh and say to my business partner, "Well, I guess we have to accept it."  Now that is definitely an irrational response to have when someone offers to buy your house for your asking price!  But not so in the context of what was coming through for me at an intuitive level.

We decide to sign the offer and set things in motion.  I continue to feel very resistant and restless for a few days, but I decide to let it go.  I know that this will play out and we will know if it is going to work within a couple of weeks. 

Nine days after we accept the offer, I receive an email from the agent asking us to sign a release of the contract - the buyer no longer wants it, based upon inspection.  Why am I not surprised?  We sign the release and put it back on the market, with the realization that we have lost some precious marketing time.

In this particular situation, Guidance came through in a strong and sudden way.  I acknowledged it, and, at the time of accepting the offer, created a plan in my mind of how to salvage the sale of our house if things didn't play out as we hoped. 

The more readily we recognize Higher Guidance, the more quickly we can benefit from it.  This may be a good time to refer you back to some older posts I wrote which spell out how to distinguish "True Guidance" from "False Guidance:" 

Post #1 discusses the following characteristics of Higher Guidance - the supportive quality; the consistency; the focus on life purpose; the focus on joy in the present.

Post #2discusses how Higher Guidance is strong and powerful; sounds familiar; speaks in second person; and feels like a warm hug.

Post #3 focuses on how Higher Guidance empowers you; is direct and to the point; comes suddenly and completely; and does not put you above or below others.

What examples of "guidance on the go" have you received?  Did you recognize it as such?  How did you respond?

Moving at the Pace of Guidance

Speed is some guy running through the airport shouting into a cell phone.  Pace is going around the block with a three-year-old and noticing everything the child is noticing.

- Christina Baldwin, The Seven Whispers

I may not be running through an airport, but I feel like I have been running on life's treadmill the past two weeks.  The pace of my work life has accelerated, some due to good things happening.  Nonetheless, I feel harried and stressed, and earned a speeding ticket for my own inability to create a pace that works better for me.

To move at the pace of guidance is Baldwin's second whisper of seven whispers.  The first I addressed in Making Room to Hear Wisdom.  The remaining five whispers are:  Practice certainty of purpose;  Surrender to surprise;  Ask for what you need and offer what you can;  Love the folks in front of you;  Return to the  world.

Technology makes things work faster, and we've grown to expect and desire that.  We've learned to adapt to speed.  We can drink coffee and text at the same time.  But somewhere along the line, we've become the servant to speed, rather than determining how speed will serve us.

Baldwin notes that "Speed tends to cancel out guidance."  Ego steps in as speed pushes Spirit out.  I know that when I do that, my will takes over and I go into my "make it happen" mode, which requires a "push" energy.  Definitely more exhausting, (adrenaline wears me out), not to mention that I'm less able to work with the forces of the Universe on my own behalf. 

I look back on my previous career in life coaching, where I had control of my schedule, and regularly practiced some form of stillness and centering.  I routinely tapped into guidance. 

Fast forward a few years to a career change - to a business in real estate investing.  I have less control of my schedule.  This business is very "response oriented."  When the phone rings, I can make money, so it's important to get the phone to ring, and to respond promptly to calls.  My people skills, honed over the past 30 years, come in handy.  Now I need to return to the practices that can help me adjust the pace I bring to the moment.

Recall the famous one-liner -  "If you build it, they will come," in the movie, Field of Dreams.  Baldwin encourages us in a similar way -  " . . . if you have a sacred place and use it, something will happen."

I am herby declaring that I will practice a few minutes of silence/stillness first thing in the morning.  The egg timer will be on my nightstand.  My initial aim is not to solicit guidance.  I just want to practice quieting my thoughts.  If I can slow down my thoughts, and allow my observer to take over, I can rein in the speed of my life to a more manageable pace.  Then Spirit has a chance to get a word in.

Once I can slip into a centering mode more easily, I can resume my automatic writing, a practice I did regularly over the last decade.  It's as simple as lighting a candle, getting centered, and asking a question, then writing or typing out the answer as guidance comes through. 

Baldwin reminds us that "listening to the voice of guidance is not a one-time, okay-now-I-got-it, don't-have-to-practice-it kind of skill."  We are called to notice whose voice we are listening to in each moment.  Our job is to let "the Divine blow in our faces and guide us home."

[Photo Credit:  Ariel da Silva Parreira]

Making Room to Hear Wisdom

Sometimes I think of the connection to spirit as being like a phone line.  The connection is always open:  It's our half of the relationship to stay available for incoming calls . . . the problem is not in the sending, but in the receiving.

- Christina Baldwin, The Seven Whispers

Wisdom waits for me, stuck behind the doors of my continuous distraction, and cluttered mind.  Gradually, and almost outside of my awareness, my spiritual practices have become superficial and arid.  I spend the bulk of my awake time in my mind.  Good things still happen in my life, but the sense of joy is diminished by mental tedium. 

You can imagine, then, how grateful I feel for Spirit's guidance last week in the bookstore, when I found and purchased a copy of The Seven Whispers.  I'll address the first whisper in this post, "Maintain Peace
of Mind."

It's hard for me to feel peaceful when the characters within my mind harp at me incessantly- the critic, the doubter, the scaredy cat, the champion, and the little kid, among many voices I hear.  Author Christina Baldwin describes in the book how she shifts her sense of self.  She does this most often by shifting to her inner observer, who can act as mediator among the many voices to see which one can serve her best.

When we can do that, Baldwin says we can shift our emotional state, our thought processes, and our assumptions.  This allows other internal characters to emerge - integrated child, integrated self-parent, observer mind etc.  This helps me to remember that I am more than the totality of voices in my head.  When I recognize who's talking, I can choose to turn the volume up or down, whatever it takes to restore a sense of calm.

Here's an easy-to-remember practice that Baldwin describes to create peace of mind.  She advises starting out your day first thing in the morning with this:

Practice conscious breathing (slow, long breaths through the belly) that can be done anywhere.  Take 3 breaths (Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching):

1) One breath to LET GO 
In my case, I let go of constant list making; of racing into the future with "what ifs;" of focus on inadequacies rather than strengths.  Deep breathing replaces the adrenaline with oxygen.  Yesterday I felt besieged with volumes of "to do's."  After this exercise, I took a legal yellow pad, drew nine sections on it with a ruler, and placed my "to do's" in the boxes.  For example, one section held my list for a house we just put up for sale; another my list for a current marketing campaign; another for personal  financial items etc.  Having everything down and laid out in an organized manner de-cluttered my mind and brought a sense of relief.

2) One breath to BE HERE
I bring myself back to the present and "be" in the world through my five senses.  What do I notice through my eyes, hear through my ears, smell through my nose, feel with my skin, and taste with my tongue?  I discover that when I do this, I ground myself into the here and now.  I find my way back into my body, and out of my head.  It gives me a chance to interrupt unhelpful mental thoughts.  It allows me to pay attention of what is in front of me.

3) One breath to ask NOW WHAT?
Baldwin asks:  "Now what might Spirit say, if I say nothing more and just for a moment, listen?"  What I like about asking this question is that it invites Spirit (God, Higher Self etc) into my life.  I get the sense that I'm partnering with Spirit in my life and that I'm not alone.  The answer to my question may come later in the day, or week, or at some future time.  And sometimes Spirit will answer a question I haven't even asked, as when I was guided to buy the above named book.

I've been at this 3 breath practice for a few days now, during an unusually hectic work week.  For example, I left home at 7 am Wednesday, and didn't return home til after 7:00 p.m.  Friday I spent several hours looking at properties to buy, and then spent several hours in my office til 6:00 p.m., not my typical Friday schedule!

I intend to keep practicing the deep breathing, and to ask the questions, in order to make it a natural part of my day.  I'm still a "peace of mind rookie," but I find that knowing about these 3 breaths/questions pulls me back from mental racing by increasing my awareness. 

There is so much I cannot control in my life, even though I expend a lot energy trying to do that.  What I do have control over is breathing deeply to cultivate peace of mind.  Then I can make room for Wisdom to help me. 

I like the notion that God/Spirit not only resides above us (Western tradition), but that God/Spirit resides within us, in our heart (Eastern tradition), as Baldwin describes in the book.  As I/we connect with the Divinity  within us, we experience a richness in life beyond the material.

There are any number of ways to invite peace of mind.  What way have you found that works for you? 

[Photo Credit:  Gokhan Okur]

  

What Does Higher Guidance Have to do with Buying a Car?

My blog tagline, "Connecting Inner Knowing with Outer Living" reminds me that higher guidance can assist us with practical matters too.

About 6 weeks ago ago our trusted auto mechanic told me that my 1996 Camry could not go more than 2 more months without some essential repairs (timing belt, water pump replacement, major oil leaks etc.) - at least $1000 to keep it going.  God bless "Betsy" - she has 195,000 miles on her and has been the best car I've ever owned.  She still looks good too.  But I know her days on the road are winding down.

My logical side says it's not a good idea to take precious cash out of savings for a down payment on a new car.  Fear tells me that my husband can be laid off late this year when the engineering project he's on is completed.  This is based on fact - engineers are getting laid off all over the Greenville SC metro area.  Safer to put more money into the old car to keep it going.

Yet my inner knowing begs to differ.  The past few weeks I find myself detaching emotionally from this car.  I no longer feel as confident in her reliability.  In spite of logic and fear, I just "know" that we are supposed to buy a new car.  My hubbie agrees.  Meanwhile, I've run through my mind how we can handle a job layoff financially so that we will not be giving a new car back to the bank. 

Last weekend we begin the car shopping in earnest, and after 4 days of intense research and negotiating, we become owners of a new Honda Accord.  During that process, I rely on the excellent information at Edmunds, conversations with other Honda Accord owners, and intuition to make our purchase.  Edmunds gives car buyers the tools and savvy to make a successful purchase. 

In today's economy, we have never experienced such motivated car sellers, or rock bottom interest rates on car loans.  Imagine playing 3 different Honda dealers off one another to arrive at the price I want on a "loaded" Accord?  We wanted to give the first salesman who worked with us the business.  I asked him to match the lowest price I found and he agreed.  Two hours later he hands me the keys to my new car!

Inner knowing immediately names my new car "Grace."  With new affection for the car I intend to drive for the next 10-12 years, I dub her "Gracie."  I express my verbal thanks to Betsy, and as soon as I return from an out of town trip I will donate her to a non-profit.  With care, she still has some life left in her. 

Now my inner knowing is communicating promptings about my hair color . . . but I won't go there today!

Flash Bites

For the past week I've been receiving intuitive flashes.  They come through as an insight, an inner knowing, a glimmer, a picture, or a physical sensation on personal and business issues in my life.

Like sound bites, they're brief and get my attention.  It occurs to me this morning, as I lay in bed, that these are "flash bites."  They grab me and shift me from smallness to expansion, all in the space of seconds!

For example, yesterday afternoon we are watching the movie, Henry Poole is Here.  The central character struggles with a loss of faith.  He depends solely on what he knows logically.  He is challenged by neighbors whose faith and beliefs summon  "miracles." 

Near the end of the movie my flash bite comes.  In my need to make the lives of my husband and two daughters "better," I am shown a different way of being.  I am released from needing to control outcomes.  I can let go.  With my husband, my job is not to help him become more "spiritual" but to grow in my own faith.  My job is not to fuss over my 26 yr old daughter in her present state of unsettledness, but to love her.  She is much wiser than I was at that age, and will choose well.  My job is not to obsess over my 23 yr. old daughter finding a job in Chicago when she moves there this summer (by the way . . . anyone need a talented graphic designer?).  She's perfectly capable finding work, if past performance is any indicator.

As I read over the flash bite above, it sounds rational.  But it did not come through that way.  I felt lightened and free when I received this intuitive flash.  I felt like a different part of me (yes, I'll call her the Divine One) was reassuring me that my job was done.  I can relax.  I can love.  Translated . . . I can give up worry.

You cannot worry about someone and love them at the same time. Most people mistake the emotion of worry for the emotion of love. They think that worrying about somebody means that you love them.
- Abraham

In hindsight, I look back and see the pivotal flash bite that arrived last weekend, setting off this series of flash bites the past few days.  It all starts with a visit to downtown Asheville, a 75 minute drive from our South Carolina home.  We have made it a tradition on all of our trips to Asheville to make our last stop at Malaprops Bookstore.  Street musicians play outside the doors.  Stepping into the doors of this independent bookseller, I feel immediate pleasure.  For book lovers like me it's an orgy of delight.  Because it's not a chain store, even the coffee aromas smell more intoxicating.  Walking on old floor boards that creak, I scan the colorful book displays and creative organization that draw me further in.  I wander over to a shelf entitled "Banned Books" - all  those books we are so familiar with that have been banned at one time or another, including Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.  I feel myself losing sense of time.  I acquaint myself with new authors, and check in with familiar ones.  

Over and over again, I find myself drawn to another area with a book entitled Life is a Verb by Patti Digh.  The subtitle - "37 Days to Wake Up , Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally."  Why does the author's name sound so familiar?  I soon realize that she is a blogger that I have read sometime in the past.  Holding her book is a tactile pleasure in itself.  The book feels so smooth and silky!  Colors pop throughout the multitude of unique illustrations.  As her blog proclaims, her book is not a self-help book, but a soul-help book.  Without hesitation I buy the book.

After our friends head back to Ohio, I nestle my derriere on the couch to soak myself in this book for awhile.  My flash bite shows up during a writing exercise.  I become aware that I've put myself in a pissy funk by comparing myself to others who are better writers, better bloggers, know more than me, ad nauseum.  I'm filled with a sense of mean smallness towards myself.

Simultaneously something else comes through - call it soul help.  I feel a physical sense of warmth come from my heart.  I feel my heart expand and open as I sense a loving, compassionate presence.  I flip from holding myself with disdain to a sense of deep love and gratitude for being me.  I do feel a regret for the wasted time, but make a contract with myself to do something loving or compassionate for myself each day. 

The following morning, I decide to stop multi-tasking at breakfast.  I don't check email while eating and watching Good Morning America before rushing off to Jazzercise.  I give myself the gift of being present.  The rest of the day unfolds without the typical sense of urgency and pressure that I inflict upon myself.

And so it goes . . . as I learn to be more present, flash bites find a receptive state as I move through my week.  What I wish I had done, and will do from now on, is jot down my flash bites as they come through.  I hope to capture as much of the essence of the message, and the feeling as possible.  Later, when I fall back, I can turn to my written flash bite and "remember" again.

Forgive this rambling story.  I tell it to myself to understand how the Universe supports me, tracing my steps back to Malaprops, and taking note of the numerous flash bites that have come through since then just this week.  Take heart, Deb, you are never alone.  And neither are you!

Photo Credits:  Light in sky - Dimitar Tzankov; Malaprops Bookstore - Malaprops website

What I Know For Sure

If someone asked you the question:  "What do you know for sure?", how would you respond?

I find myself answering this question last night at the instigation of O Magazine, where Oprah answers this question as a monthly feature found on the last page of each issue.

What I know for sure . . . is that I know far more than I ever give myself credit for, and that's a damn shame. 

When I awaken this morning, before getting out of bed, I feel emotion surfacing.  I reflect on my answer to the above question and sense sadness.  I understand at a heart level that when I don't acknowledge what I know, I diminish myself.  Like the dimmer set low on our dining room chandelier, I fade out.  The whole point about being in this world is about allowing my light to emanate out.  To  connect to other lights, and to lead the way for those looking for the light.

What I know for sure is that when I still myself, even for a few seconds, I am graced with  understanding what I know.  Perhaps I need to still myself longer to remember what I know.

I leave you with the question at the beginning of this post:  "What do you know for sure?"  Please feel free to share your answer here!

 

Taking My Cues From Mickey

A couple of weeks ago we returned from a business-related trip to Orlando.  We added a few days prior to the business event to head out to Disney.  Amidst the crowd, the heat, and the infamous Floridian humidity, we enjoyed our favorite thrill rides, and a bit of the signature trademark magic unique to the Disney parks.

On my last night there, I browsed through a store of Disney merchandise located on the Boardwalk.  Besides purchasing a cool v-neck T-shirt in my favorite shade of pink, I found an irresistible little Mickey with his sorcerer hat perched on his head.  This is the same Mickey found at the Hollywood Studios Park in a giant sculpture.

I scooped up Mickey.  I just knew I needed to take him home with me.  He sits on my desk.  He smiles and reminds me that I can create the magic in my life. And it all starts with remembering that my own inner wizard waits within.  She's only a silent moment away.  She was the one, after all, who told me to buy Mickey in the first place. 

What I'm Learning About Asking for Guidance

Lately I have been making specific requests for help from my Spirit Guides, and getting swift answers back.  It's like speed-dialing both ways - I cut through the red tape immediately, both in the asking, and in the receiving.  I'll admit I'm a bit taken aback by all this, being "doubting Debbie."  More on that in a moment.

Several incidents of asking/receiving in the past 2-3 weeks have captured my attention.  In a previous post I described how I asked for guidance on choosing between two housecleaners I was considering hiring.  The answer that came through resonated for me and the housecleaner "recommended" has exceeded all my highest expectations. 

The 2nd request centered on finding an administrative assistant to help in our real estate investing business.  February 26th's post described how I asked aloud for help with this and found my assistant within the next hour!  She inspires confidence and I find working with her easy.  So far, so good.

This past Saturday night my husband and I walked out of a downtown restaurant after dinner, and decided to linger in the nice weather by walking downtown.  Two blocks after we began walking I reached up to my throat and realized my necklace had slipped off.  I became upset immediately.  It wasn't valuable.  But it was unique and irreplaceable.  My husband had picked it out for me several years ago when we vacationed in British Columbia. 

We retraced our steps, scouting the ground on the way back to the restaurant.