Spirit In Gear

Following Guidance Takes Courage

If following inner guidance was easy, we'd be doing it all the time, right?  But when it doesn't make sense to do so logically, we tend to second guess ourselves and struggle.

This morning I receive an email from a follower of my blog.  She relates a powerful story about acting upon inner guidance.  She recently took a new job in a field she has worked in for 19 years.  As soon as she begins her new job, she feels a sense of danger she can't shake.  And within a short time, she decides to quit. 

Meanwhile, the bills are due.  Her family thinks she is crazy.  She is living 12 hours from home on an air mattress.  She feels scared.  And she feels something else - "the peace at times is the
most real, purest peace I have ever known.  My inner most part of me, maybe that small still voice tells me everything will be alright."  Even when she doesn't have anything else lined up.

It may be that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. - Wendell Berry

This reminds me of an inner urging I felt in 2003.  My husband had just been named project manager for the largest job he'd ever do, which would span at least 2 years.  Our younger daughter was getting ready to enter her senior year in high school.  We had no desire to move from our home.  And yet, I felt compelled to get our home market ready for sale.

It didn't make sense at all.  But I trusted that urge enough that we created a punch list and checked off the items on the list over the next few months.  Shortly after that, my husband received word that the project was called off.  The client was in a financial downturn.  Within 3 more months, my husband's company decimated the engineering department.  He was offered a transfer out of state.  We both agreed the transfer would work.  Because our home was market ready,we sold our house in 1 day.

In between these decisions and actions lay a sense of uncertainty, worry, and fear.  And out of all that courage comes forward to prevail and lead the way.

When have you acted upon an inner urge when it didn't make sense?

Guidance on the Go

Higher Guidance doesn't always require a meditative space to show up in.  It can show up without our direct request for answers.  Or we may get our "guidance on the go" if we pay attention, stay present, and steer the pace of our hectic lives, as I addressed in a recent post, Moving at the Pace of Guidance.

For example, about three weeks ago I experienced a swift download of guidance "on the go."  The story begins when I receive a phone call from a real estate agent who wants to show a house we just rehabbed and put up for sale four days prior.  I give her the lock-box code and return to my meeting. 

The agent calls me back later that evening to tell me her client is making an offer and she will fax it to me.  There is something about her tone of voice and sense of urgency that makes me immediately resistant.  For some inexplicable reason, I don't have a good feeling about this.  (One of the primary ways guidance comes through for me is an energy I feel in my body).

The offer arrives and proves to be a low-ball offer.  I craft a counter-offer designed to make them go away.  Or so I think.  They respond to my counter-offer with our asking price.  I sigh and say to my business partner, "Well, I guess we have to accept it."  Now that is definitely an irrational response to have when someone offers to buy your house for your asking price!  But not so in the context of what was coming through for me at an intuitive level.

We decide to sign the offer and set things in motion.  I continue to feel very resistant and restless for a few days, but I decide to let it go.  I know that this will play out and we will know if it is going to work within a couple of weeks. 

Nine days after we accept the offer, I receive an email from the agent asking us to sign a release of the contract - the buyer no longer wants it, based upon inspection.  Why am I not surprised?  We sign the release and put it back on the market, with the realization that we have lost some precious marketing time.

In this particular situation, Guidance came through in a strong and sudden way.  I acknowledged it, and, at the time of accepting the offer, created a plan in my mind of how to salvage the sale of our house if things didn't play out as we hoped. 

The more readily we recognize Higher Guidance, the more quickly we can benefit from it.  This may be a good time to refer you back to some older posts I wrote which spell out how to distinguish "True Guidance" from "False Guidance:" 

Post #1 discusses the following characteristics of Higher Guidance - the supportive quality; the consistency; the focus on life purpose; the focus on joy in the present.

Post #2discusses how Higher Guidance is strong and powerful; sounds familiar; speaks in second person; and feels like a warm hug.

Post #3 focuses on how Higher Guidance empowers you; is direct and to the point; comes suddenly and completely; and does not put you above or below others.

What examples of "guidance on the go" have you received?  Did you recognize it as such?  How did you respond?

What Does Higher Guidance Have to do with Buying a Car?

My blog tagline, "Connecting Inner Knowing with Outer Living" reminds me that higher guidance can assist us with practical matters too.

About 6 weeks ago ago our trusted auto mechanic told me that my 1996 Camry could not go more than 2 more months without some essential repairs (timing belt, water pump replacement, major oil leaks etc.) - at least $1000 to keep it going.  God bless "Betsy" - she has 195,000 miles on her and has been the best car I've ever owned.  She still looks good too.  But I know her days on the road are winding down.

My logical side says it's not a good idea to take precious cash out of savings for a down payment on a new car.  Fear tells me that my husband can be laid off late this year when the engineering project he's on is completed.  This is based on fact - engineers are getting laid off all over the Greenville SC metro area.  Safer to put more money into the old car to keep it going.

Yet my inner knowing begs to differ.  The past few weeks I find myself detaching emotionally from this car.  I no longer feel as confident in her reliability.  In spite of logic and fear, I just "know" that we are supposed to buy a new car.  My hubbie agrees.  Meanwhile, I've run through my mind how we can handle a job layoff financially so that we will not be giving a new car back to the bank. 

Last weekend we begin the car shopping in earnest, and after 4 days of intense research and negotiating, we become owners of a new Honda Accord.  During that process, I rely on the excellent information at Edmunds, conversations with other Honda Accord owners, and intuition to make our purchase.  Edmunds gives car buyers the tools and savvy to make a successful purchase. 

In today's economy, we have never experienced such motivated car sellers, or rock bottom interest rates on car loans.  Imagine playing 3 different Honda dealers off one another to arrive at the price I want on a "loaded" Accord?  We wanted to give the first salesman who worked with us the business.  I asked him to match the lowest price I found and he agreed.  Two hours later he hands me the keys to my new car!

Inner knowing immediately names my new car "Grace."  With new affection for the car I intend to drive for the next 10-12 years, I dub her "Gracie."  I express my verbal thanks to Betsy, and as soon as I return from an out of town trip I will donate her to a non-profit.  With care, she still has some life left in her. 

Now my inner knowing is communicating promptings about my hair color . . . but I won't go there today!

Flash Bites

For the past week I've been receiving intuitive flashes.  They come through as an insight, an inner knowing, a glimmer, a picture, or a physical sensation on personal and business issues in my life.

Like sound bites, they're brief and get my attention.  It occurs to me this morning, as I lay in bed, that these are "flash bites."  They grab me and shift me from smallness to expansion, all in the space of seconds!

For example, yesterday afternoon we are watching the movie, Henry Poole is Here.  The central character struggles with a loss of faith.  He depends solely on what he knows logically.  He is challenged by neighbors whose faith and beliefs summon  "miracles." 

Near the end of the movie my flash bite comes.  In my need to make the lives of my husband and two daughters "better," I am shown a different way of being.  I am released from needing to control outcomes.  I can let go.  With my husband, my job is not to help him become more "spiritual" but to grow in my own faith.  My job is not to fuss over my 26 yr old daughter in her present state of unsettledness, but to love her.  She is much wiser than I was at that age, and will choose well.  My job is not to obsess over my 23 yr. old daughter finding a job in Chicago when she moves there this summer (by the way . . . anyone need a talented graphic designer?).  She's perfectly capable finding work, if past performance is any indicator.

As I read over the flash bite above, it sounds rational.  But it did not come through that way.  I felt lightened and free when I received this intuitive flash.  I felt like a different part of me (yes, I'll call her the Divine One) was reassuring me that my job was done.  I can relax.  I can love.  Translated . . . I can give up worry.

You cannot worry about someone and love them at the same time. Most people mistake the emotion of worry for the emotion of love. They think that worrying about somebody means that you love them.
- Abraham

In hindsight, I look back and see the pivotal flash bite that arrived last weekend, setting off this series of flash bites the past few days.  It all starts with a visit to downtown Asheville, a 75 minute drive from our South Carolina home.  We have made it a tradition on all of our trips to Asheville to make our last stop at Malaprops Bookstore.  Street musicians play outside the doors.  Stepping into the doors of this independent bookseller, I feel immediate pleasure.  For book lovers like me it's an orgy of delight.  Because it's not a chain store, even the coffee aromas smell more intoxicating.  Walking on old floor boards that creak, I scan the colorful book displays and creative organization that draw me further in.  I wander over to a shelf entitled "Banned Books" - all  those books we are so familiar with that have been banned at one time or another, including Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.  I feel myself losing sense of time.  I acquaint myself with new authors, and check in with familiar ones.  

Over and over again, I find myself drawn to another area with a book entitled Life is a Verb by Patti Digh.  The subtitle - "37 Days to Wake Up , Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally."  Why does the author's name sound so familiar?  I soon realize that she is a blogger that I have read sometime in the past.  Holding her book is a tactile pleasure in itself.  The book feels so smooth and silky!  Colors pop throughout the multitude of unique illustrations.  As her blog proclaims, her book is not a self-help book, but a soul-help book.  Without hesitation I buy the book.

After our friends head back to Ohio, I nestle my derriere on the couch to soak myself in this book for awhile.  My flash bite shows up during a writing exercise.  I become aware that I've put myself in a pissy funk by comparing myself to others who are better writers, better bloggers, know more than me, ad nauseum.  I'm filled with a sense of mean smallness towards myself.

Simultaneously something else comes through - call it soul help.  I feel a physical sense of warmth come from my heart.  I feel my heart expand and open as I sense a loving, compassionate presence.  I flip from holding myself with disdain to a sense of deep love and gratitude for being me.  I do feel a regret for the wasted time, but make a contract with myself to do something loving or compassionate for myself each day. 

The following morning, I decide to stop multi-tasking at breakfast.  I don't check email while eating and watching Good Morning America before rushing off to Jazzercise.  I give myself the gift of being present.  The rest of the day unfolds without the typical sense of urgency and pressure that I inflict upon myself.

And so it goes . . . as I learn to be more present, flash bites find a receptive state as I move through my week.  What I wish I had done, and will do from now on, is jot down my flash bites as they come through.  I hope to capture as much of the essence of the message, and the feeling as possible.  Later, when I fall back, I can turn to my written flash bite and "remember" again.

Forgive this rambling story.  I tell it to myself to understand how the Universe supports me, tracing my steps back to Malaprops, and taking note of the numerous flash bites that have come through since then just this week.  Take heart, Deb, you are never alone.  And neither are you!

Photo Credits:  Light in sky - Dimitar Tzankov; Malaprops Bookstore - Malaprops website

From Soul to Deb

Lately I am catching bits and pieces of conversation my soul is having with me. 

It begins earlier this week on a Monday morning. I awaken from a dream I find puzzling.  In the dream I am walking with my grandmother (deceased several years ago at the age of 101).  She and I are in a store of undetermined nature and she wishes to purchase a gallon of gasoline to carry with her.  I have no idea what she intends to do with it.  She has no car, nor lawn mower.  Nevertheless my grandmother is relishing this purchase and clearly wants it.  I notice however that grandmother is carrying a small plastic bag to put the gasoline in.  I explain to her that the plastic bag can't hold the gasoline.  She ignores me.  By the time she reaches the cashier, her plastic bag has miraculously turned into a gallon gas container with cap.  Grandmother thinks nothing of this.  She clearly expected this would happen.  (Intention + Action = Results).

I ask for guidance on the meaning of this dream.  The immediate response:  "Your grandmother is suggesting you follow her example - you can go after what you want and desire, even when you don't know how or when it may happen."  I needed that encouragement and permission to believe I can have a big dream and go after it. I realized too that my grandmother, while on earth, demonstrated a level of inexplicable faith and trust I would do well to emulate.

Later that morning I am working on writing my business plan. 

Taking My Cues From Mickey

A couple of weeks ago we returned from a business-related trip to Orlando.  We added a few days prior to the business event to head out to Disney.  Amidst the crowd, the heat, and the infamous Floridian humidity, we enjoyed our favorite thrill rides, and a bit of the signature trademark magic unique to the Disney parks.

On my last night there, I browsed through a store of Disney merchandise located on the Boardwalk.  Besides purchasing a cool v-neck T-shirt in my favorite shade of pink, I found an irresistible little Mickey with his sorcerer hat perched on his head.  This is the same Mickey found at the Hollywood Studios Park in a giant sculpture.

I scooped up Mickey.  I just knew I needed to take him home with me.  He sits on my desk.  He smiles and reminds me that I can create the magic in my life. And it all starts with remembering that my own inner wizard waits within.  She's only a silent moment away.  She was the one, after all, who told me to buy Mickey in the first place. 

How to Elicit Heart Wisdom - Use These Questions Within Questions

When we want to tap into the wisdom of our heart for guidance, we must learn to ask the right questions.  Barbara DeAngelis, author of How Did I Get Here? calls this process contemplating the "questions within questions."

Linear questions such as "What is my new list of goals?" or "What action steps should I take?" keep us limited to what logic/intellect dictates before we may be fully informed.  The following "questions within questions" bypass the mind, according to DeAngelis, to help us "feel the answers" rather than "think about the answers."  I've included a few from her book, How Did I Get Here?:

Am I living as the person I want to be?

What authentic parts of myself have I been hiding from people who know me?

Do my everyday activities and interactions bring me joy?

What parts of myself have I been ignoring, neglecting, or denying?

If I weren't worried about what other people might think or how they might react, what changes or decisions would I make in my life?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's a process I'd suggest for using these questions, based on my own experience:

- Work with one question at a time. 
- Find a way to quiet yourself, in a private space. 
- Take in some deep slow breaths to relax you, bringing you into the here and now. 
- Ask yourself the question you want to focus on first. 
- Notice what comes up first.  A feeling may come through - follow it to see where it wants to take you.  - Allow the feelings, sensations, words, and "knowing" to come forward.  Jot these down.

Barbara DeAngelis notes that you can also address one of these questions in a meditation, or discuss with a trusted friend, partner, or therapist.

In my next post, I'll share what I learned in response to the question, "What parts of myself have I been ignoring, neglecting, or denying?"

Picture Credit - Tatiana

Returning To Center

Today I learn that returning to center can make me a better blogger.

It starts with waking up this morning in the middle of a wierd dream. 

I am pedaling my way through a maze of cobblestone streets, trying to keep up with someone else in the lead.  Before the dream nears its end, I see ahead of me a hole of red liquid in the street that is quickly closing up.  I am urged by some inner knowing to join the monks that are jumping into the hole.  That in order to preserve my inner knowing, I must jump.  I can see that the hole is fast closing to those who are chasing us in pursuit.  Just before I wake up, I head for the hole.

Did I make it into the hole in time?  Interesting question.  And why monks?  Perhaps the monks in my dream reflect connection to Spirit.  Of greater importance to me is the reinforcement to return to the intuitive side of myself.  (Yesterday I felt scattered and ungrounded).

I probably would have quickly forgotten this dream if it had not been for the synchronicity of insights I gain from two other bloggers that reinforce my insights this morning.

The first blogger, Tina Su, emails me a lovely thank you note for spotlighting her blog in my last post.  She asks me what my vision for my blog was when I started.  I explain that the blog was an outgrowth of my work as a life coach, as well as my book, Tug of Heart.  It wasn't until I told her how different my 20's were than hers that things click into place.  I tell Tina that back in the 70's and early 80's, I believed I must hide my intuitive/creative side in order to survive in the business world.  (It was dress/think/talk/act like a man if you were a woman back then).  Yes, that's a bold generalization, but you get the drift.

I've spent the rest of my life reclaiming my intuitive and creative side.  If we teach what we want to learn, I feel great passion in supporting others to bring the intuitive back into play as well.

Liz Strauss, the 2nd blogger, cemented my learning in her post, Seriously:  Do New Thoughts and New Taglines Find Us?  She raises the question about becoming a new thinker and will one still be found in the blogosphere.  She prefaces it with what hasn't worked earlier this year:  "I started listening to EVERYONE, but myself."  I love what she wrote near the end of her post - "Go ahead, believe whatever your heart will let you."  I found you, brave Liz, on this Saturday morning, as your new thoughts came forward.

Liz's post reminded me how I can get caught up in other people's voices, in what other bloggers do on their blogs, without making enough time for my own thoughts.  I fuss, and compare, and usually deal myself the short straw. 

Return to center.  Stay the course.  Notice when I get off course.  Return to center.  Over and over again.  Use my linear brain to structure time, to organize my life, to support the intuitive side.  Then let my intuitive side play and offer up her musings and deliver the posts to me.  So I can be more of who I am.  The one and only original Debbie Anne Call.

Bridging the Logical with the Intuitive - Writing Tools

The Dec. issue of Writers Digest arrived this week with an impressive array of articles/tools that address how creativity "dances" between the logical and the intuitive sides of our brain.  FYI, you can pick this magazine up at a bookstore or order it at the link above.

One of these articles, Meeting of the Minds, by Michael Vaughn, describes how the two sides of our brain (logical/intuitive) develop.  He discusses several tools or games we can use to move into the right brain for our writing.  One of these tools is the "cluster technique" developed by Dr. Gabriele Rico in her book Writing the Natural Way.  You can view this technique at her website.

I had the joy of working with Dr. Rico at a 5-day writer's retreat during the summer of 1999.  We practiced the cluster technique during the entire workshop.  I found it powerful, especially because she gave us a time limit for each cluster exercise.  That time constraint had the effect of limiting the damage from my inner critic!

You can also read some examples of what I wrote back in 1999 from some of those cluster exercises, if you'd like additional illustration of this technique.

When We Don't Listen to Our Inner Voice

Last week found my husband irritated with himself.  When our credit card bill arrived, we discovered that we incurred additional financial cost when we transferred part of a home equity balance to a low-interest credit card. 

In hindsight, hubbie said he had a "feeling" before we transferred the balance that the low 3.99% interest would not apply to the entire bill, but decided to ignore the feeling.  In this case, ignoring the inner voice cost us money.  Now we must stop using this card and incur further cost by transferring this balance yet again.

Kathy Sierra of Creating Passionate Users illustrates the concept of having a "feeling" and not knowing why or what to do with it in My Favorite Graphs.  Scroll down to "Which One Wins?"  I love this picture!  It illustrates why reason may not always be the right choice.

The same week of my husband's irritation, I allowed ego interference to override my intuitive sense of what to blog about.  Ego said nobody cares about what I want to write on; ego said I must rigidly stick to my blog theme, etc. etc.  I allowed ego to bully the deeper part of myself.  My mad censor won that round. 

Years ago I used a journalling technique to create a written conversation between these two parts of myself when I would feel conflicted.  I learned that my true voice would win out if I kept the conversation going; the ego would eventually run out of steam.  Terry Starbucker, of Ramblings from a Glass Half Full, demonstrates this technique with humor with his "Harry" and "Mopey" characters in Murphy's Law vs. Half-Fullism and More Conversations with Mopey and Harry . . .

If you could use a little reinforcement in honoring that inner voice, check out Kirsten Harrell's 5-part series of posts - "Whispers from the Soul (intuition)" - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.  Part 5 is due to be posted next week. 

And if you haven't read my Platinum Trumpet Award series on True Guidance vs. False Guidance, here you go - Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Just curious, would you care to share what happened to you when you didn't listen to your inner voice?