Spirit In Gear

Happy 6th Patti Digh & 37Days

Patti Digh's blog, 37days, is whole food for the soul. Her writing shines with authenticity, transparency, heart. You'll find no additives, bs, or fillers. Reading Patti's words is like taking my daily dose of vitamins for my spiritual and emotional health.

No matter how hectic my day is, I make time to read her posts.  Yes, they are that good!  Shedding is one of my favorite posts from last month.  Here is a small excerpt of the 11 items Patti intends to shed in 2011:

File cabinets: I am feeling smothered by the past. File cabinets contain papers about work I used to do, but will never do again. They need to go away, to make space for an art table.

Patti inspires me with this one.  It really hits home for me.  My office closet is jammed with filing cabinets overflowing with a previous career - seminars, workshops, and talks I gave 8-10 years ago.  I get a heavy feeling when I walk into that closet.  Why am I hanging onto it?  Over the holidays I have begun to clear out and throw away tons of binders filled with materials.  I have purchased banker boxes for things that need to be saved, such as financial info and tax returns that can be packed away out of site.  I can use the free space in my filing cabinets to take my current business to a new level of organization.  My intuitive hunch is that by opening up space, I am giving my creativity room to breath and expand!

Blocks: I'm letting go of false comparisons with others, false expectations of myself, and false investments in stories that don't serve me.

Am I finally old enough to let these blocks go too?  I hereby confer upon myself lifetime permission to "pass go."  Perfection not needed, not invited. 

Excuses: I told my business partner, David, one day as we drove up Merrimon Avenue on one of his visits to Asheville that I had just realized I had never done my best work because I always wanted an excuse to fall back on if someone didn't like it. "Oh, that? I didn't have a chance to edit that because I was nursing a sick dwarf hamster back to life from a heart attack." No excuses in 2011. None.

 I refer myself back to shedding perfection.  Just do it, Deb, and by the way, have some fun while you are at it.  Embrace imperfection for the humanizing quality it is.

Work: It is too easy to say yes to work that makes money but doesn't move me in the direction I long to go. This will be the year of giving up that work, of saying no to it so I (and we) can create what we most long to say. This will likely involve the art table.

My intent, with the work that currently brings me money, is to continue to systemize it so that I am working less on it.  I aim for more free time and flexibility just because I want it!

Happy 6th Blog Anniversary, Patty Digh!  May you grace us with your words for many more years.  In the meantime, my intention this year is to meet you in person.  I am your Southern neighbor in Greenville SC, and am a mere 75 min. drive away.  You have fans down here.  We'll be in touch soon!

 [Photo Credit:  Michaela Kobyakov]

 

Why I Write

I'm aware, of late, that I have been avoiding writing blog posts.  I went through a period of feeling emotionally unsettled, and vulnerable, and didn't feel like baring my soul in public.  But what I regret, what didn't occur to me, was to write for myself, in private, where no eyes but mine see the words.

I'm in a better place now, and forever grateful for this gift of emotional resilience I seem to possess.  I am writing for myself again.  And maybe someday it will be public.  But that's not the point.  We write for so many different reasons. 

Like me, you may find commonality in your reasons to write in this hauntingly real poem by Meredith Heller:

I write to hear my voice,
because there are places of honesty
and beauty that I go in my writing that
I can't always go in my life, and I must.
When I write, I let the parts of me that hold
my breath, breathe.  I write to let light into my
being and let darkness out, to own myself, capturing
the rhythms of my cycles; journeys into the abyss,
travels through glory.  I write to allow myself to feel,
climb inside my emotions and explore their reaches and
textures, summon my tears, let them wash me hot and
clean then drain me empty and free.  I write myself alive and
reborn, whole and holy to experience myself transformed.  I
write because I hurt and because I love, and so I won't lose
anything.  And because I am lonely, sensual, and spiritual,
and I need to make contact with the divine, and writing
for me is like touching:  it is rubbing and rolling my
body against the divine until my boundaries dissolve
and I no longer know where I start and where I stop:
I become part of the universal hum.  I write to make
myself external, leave a piece of me stained into the
ethers.  I write because I believe Goddess listens
for the places where we love and own ourselves.
I write to keep myself company, keep
myself honest, keep from watching TV.
I write to keep my Muse intrigued.
I write because I can't draw.

- Meredith Heller 2003

Why do you write?

If You Write, or Want to Write - Read this Rant

Patti Digh wrote an excellent rant on writing - twelves points in all.  I'm going to print it out and keep it nearby when I feel tempted to skip writing, censor my writing, or worry about how my writing will be received.

Here's a juicy excerpt from Patti's post: 

What is your intention? To build a successful blog, or to actually say what is inside of your heart and mind and every single bloody cell of your being, and that you must somehow export it out into the world before you die?

Whether you write, paint, embroider, sing, or (insert your word), you can draw courage by reading how to write (a book). a wee rant.

I love your rant, Patti Digh!

[Photo Credit:  Laura Nubuck]

Ask - I Dare You!

Forgive me, Dick Richards, I've been meaning to compose this since reading your provocative post, ASK, early this month.  But I've found myself busy asking for, and dealing with, all that is coming my way!

Readers - at some point click over to read the true account of what happened when a workshop participant asked for something specific and audacious!

Coincidentally, two days before I read Dick's post on asking, I was sitting in a business networking meeting with other real estate investors.  I mentioned a current property that I would like to rehab if I can get the private money.  After the meeting, 2 investors separately approached me with the desire to park some private funds with this project.  I was astounded!  It was the first time I have initiated a conversation seeking private lenders.

Following upon the hills of this example, and then reading Dick's post, I realized that I don't ask for what I want nearly enough.  I suspect most of us don't.  It's a waste of time to ferret out the reasons why we don't.  Instead I decided to ask again.

This time I asked for something specific and important to me in my personal life.  And it wasn't easy.  I was experiencing a blue moment anticipating my first Thanksgiving since my father died.  I emailed my sister to once again ask her to travel to South Carolina from Ohio for the holiday.  In my message I removed the "strong, older sister persona" and shared with transparency from my heart.  I ended by letting my sister know I would accept whatever she felt in her heart was right for her.

In the outcome, relayed in a phone call, my sister is unable to honor my request due to her own grief.  I knew it was a long shot.  Surprisingly, I don't feel let down.  I feel empowered because I acknowledged my own feelings and communicated them.  With that comes an increased sense of confidence.

Here's what I am learning about asking:

- Ask with clarity and assurance.
- Ask, knowing that the more frequently you do it, the greater likelihood some of your requests will be granted.
- Ask because someone has a reciprocal need to fulfill your request and can't do it until asked.
- Ask with respect to yourself and the other party.

Now it's time to ask you to do something - ASK!  Ask for something here in a comment.  Or share an example of asking.  Go ahead.  Just do it!  I dare you!

What I Know For Sure

If someone asked you the question:  "What do you know for sure?", how would you respond?

I find myself answering this question last night at the instigation of O Magazine, where Oprah answers this question as a monthly feature found on the last page of each issue.

What I know for sure . . . is that I know far more than I ever give myself credit for, and that's a damn shame. 

When I awaken this morning, before getting out of bed, I feel emotion surfacing.  I reflect on my answer to the above question and sense sadness.  I understand at a heart level that when I don't acknowledge what I know, I diminish myself.  Like the dimmer set low on our dining room chandelier, I fade out.  The whole point about being in this world is about allowing my light to emanate out.  To  connect to other lights, and to lead the way for those looking for the light.

What I know for sure is that when I still myself, even for a few seconds, I am graced with  understanding what I know.  Perhaps I need to still myself longer to remember what I know.

I leave you with the question at the beginning of this post:  "What do you know for sure?"  Please feel free to share your answer here!

 

Write to Please Yourself First - What I'm Learning from Kurt Vonnegut

Strangely enough, this English Major in college has never read any of Kurt Vonnegut's books.  That is, until my daughter's boyfriend gifted me at Christmas with two slender volumes of his works.

I read Like Shaking Hands With God in one easy sitting.  The books provides a transcript of a moderated conversation about writing between two authors, Kurt Vonnegut and Lee Stringer.  The conversation takes place in NYC in 1998.

Here's my big take-away from this book - write first for yourself.  It's one thing to know your target audience inside and out, but what if we don't know ourselves because we don't listen to, or choose to ignore, our insides?  Vonnegut urges writers to keep it sincere - "You cannot fool a reading audience!"

When asked why he writes, Lee Stringer explains:

How My Inner Censor Cramps My Style

Within the past few days I've written 2 posts that I haven't published.  My inner censor says there's too much of me hanging out , as if I were a shirttail escaping from my pants.  The inner witch says to stay "professional."  This is a professional blog, not a personal diary.  Stick to my blog theme.

All these inner "rules" keep other voices inside of me quiet and seemingly well-behaved.  I imagine that all the bloggers I admire - which numbers pretty high - never have this problem.  They can speak their truth with courage, grace, and of course boldness.  [See Tony's transparent post on some strident criticism he rec'd from a blog visitor]

Yet the greatest gift I (and you) can offer is our own original, unique voice.  The protective fearful part of me likes to mute the microphone.  I can choose to unmute the mic, and as I do, this is what I could share.  In my writing rambles last week, I admitted a few things to myself: 

1) I spend the largest portion of my workday in a business that I'm not passionate about.  At least not yet.  Real estate investing takes me on a roller coaster.  Highs, lows, unexpected turns.  I routinely wonder if i can make it financially.  I can look back and see the tremendous progress I've made and the experience I've gained.  A small profit is better than no profit, and can lead to larger profits.

Yet what I enjoy the most about real estate investing involves the networking.  Creating a new investor group for women a year ago that has been wildly successful; being invited to serve on the board of directors of our local association of real estate investors; seeing needs and finding creative ways to fill them; bringing a deal together on behalf of a seller; problem-solving with my business partner.

2) I ask myself if I'm selling myself out as a writer by spending time in a business I don't feel as passionate about as previous careers.  I like it most days, and I enjoy the people i do business with.  Does that count enough?  I don't hold aspirations to make my living as a writer.  I just want to write, dammit.  Just write.  Not have it count for anything.  Yet that isn't entirely true.  I write because I want to know myself better, to coax out those parts lurking in my internal nooks and crannies. I want to touch  others - inspire them, bring clarity, expansion, connection.  If that leads to something else down the road, fine.  But it doesn't need to or have to. 

3) I closed down my coaching practice of 10 years almost 2 years ago.  It is only recently that I notice that the format I used in the past (1 on 1 coaching) may have changed, but I've created new structures that still give me reign to influence and touch people - yes - even in real estate investing.  Isn't that the crux of it all - it's the WHO that tells, not the WHAT. 

Last night I participated in the first session of a 4-week teleclass on "Speaking From the Inside Out" with Barbara DeAngelis.  She stresses that this is NOT a workshop on public speaking.  It's about bringing out the most authentic, powerful expression of myself.  That voice can be communicated through my energetic vibration, voice, writing, and yes, through public speaking.  Another act of perfect timing on the part of the Universe.  I'll keep you posted on this down the road.

In the meantime, what part of yourself would like more time on the "mic?"

Higher Self to Deb - Come in Please

Early this morning, before I got out of bed, before my day unfolded in a stream of ceaseless activity, my higher self managed to get a message to me:

"Today be kind with yourself.  Stop pushing yourself, diminishing yourself, berating yourself for what you haven't gotten done."

That message feels good.  I could have used it a lot earlier this week though.  After 5 days of travel, part of which included a funeral, I arrived home this past Monday night, with my parents in tow.  Trying to give them a break from chilly Ohio to warmer South Carolina. 

I'm behind on marketing for my business.  I haven't done the laundry.  I'm suffering from blog guilt and withdrawal.  I haven't spent any quality time with my husband.  I'm doing the bare minimum in my business.  Can you tell I expect miracles from myself?

I have spent quality time with my elderly parents this week.  They are loving the sunshine here.  My business parter picked up the slack in my recent absence.  Our business is actually humming along in profit mode.

BIG SIGH.  My lesson for the month (and beyond):  I am ENOUGH.  Even when the t's aren't all crossed or the i's all dotted.

Keeping It Real

Troy Worman put out a call for a different kind of self help text in his post I Want Something Else.  When asked what he wanted, he replied here.  How about some honesty and "rattling" to start with?

Troy's post inspired me to ask myself the same question.  I want authors, speakers, seminar leaders, bootcamp gurus - all of them - to KEEP IT REAL.  I'm fatigued from the drama of today's deceptive marketing claims that contain kernels of truth but leave out the details.

That's why I'm still pissed off at The Secret.  I greatly admire speaker/author Jack Canfield, a contributor in The Secret.  He illustrated how, many years ago, he manifested close to a million dollars at the end of a year, starting with the intention/visualization, and then taking his first action step as synchronicity unfolded.  So far so good, at explaining the beginning part.  Unfortunately the film stopped there and leaped to the end result of this huge amount of money.  What the film left out/edited out was the part where Jack was on the road that year for 300+ days to market the book that launched his writing career and brought in the money.  I say, tell the whole story.

This morning a woman real estate investor called me up and asked me what "wholesaling" was like.  I replied that it was not easy.  It took an average of 25 leads to produce a wholesale, and a lot of time, money and effort had to go into marketing to generate those leads.  She replied, "Thank you for telling me the truth."

Troy's question led me to ponder whether my self-help book from '03, Tug of Heart - How to Trust What You Know, could pass the "keeping it real" test.  I believe so.  The book describes real people, real examples, and whole stories.  But you can be the judge by picking up a copy at Amazon. 

In the meantime, join us in the dialogue that Troy instigated.  Stirring up the pot is one of the qualities that I love about him!

Dick Richards Makes Me Blush

Before heading out to an evening meeting yesterday, I ran a final check of my email.  There I discovered Dick Richard's email, urging me to read his latest post.  It appears that he graced me with the honor of receiving his first ever Platinum Trumpet Award for a piece of work I did earlier this year that he felt was most important to him.

The series of posts Dick refers to focus on True Guidance vs. False Guidance - Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

I feel stunned (in a gloriously positive way) with this recognition, but even more so with Dick's concluding words thanking me " . . .for showing us how to fuse a conscious and empathic individual spirituality with day-to-day life."  I've never had my message so beautifully crystallized.  Thank you, Dick!

For someone who questions the relevance of her writing from time to time, (and therefore herself), I couldn't feel more affirmed.  Pardon me while I do some savoring!

In the meantime, let me share an inspiring message I received a few years back from those guys in the sky (Divine Guidance).  They pointed out that my job is to simply share a message - to put it out there - not to be concerned with how many receive it, or what they do, or not do with it.  So if the blogosphere is one long buffet, remember we need your individual signature dish.  No one else can offer the combination of unique ingredients that you do!